I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
