I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
