so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Someone came in the potted fern
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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