he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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