Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
