lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
