she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
