can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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