Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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