i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
