Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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