I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
