so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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