he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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