he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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