The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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