Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
