U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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