hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
