Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just found puke in my bra..
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I wish there were birth control emojis
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
