summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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