I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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