jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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