You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
