how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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