Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you would pick up someone in the library
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
