We won't sleep together?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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