I'm drive I can fine osifer
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I understand Curling. That high.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
