one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
