Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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