I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
