dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
