Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You can't just leave with hair like that
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
