Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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