say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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