How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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