when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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