just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
