i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
