I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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