Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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