When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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