is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
