Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
