He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
