census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
