Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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