I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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