The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
