awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize
