ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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