I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize