Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
