i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
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