There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
