I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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