i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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