You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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