Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize