no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
