Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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