so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I am mentally ready for anal.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
