So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
