I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
