Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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