i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
