i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
